"Now it's beginning to make sense !"
"What are you talking about ?"
"I'm talking about international terrorism. mass murder and a legend of supernatural horror that goes back over 200 years !"
In later interviews Wynorski said that The Lost Empire being his directorial debut and as he was afraid of never getting the chance to direct again, he tried to cram as many of his favorite genre elements in one movie as possible. Clocking in at barely 85 minutes he manages to throw together James Bond, Enter the Dragon, Dirty Harry, Indiana Jones & a Russ Meyer bosom epic while mixing in woman prisoners (and gladiators), kung fu, evil religions cults, ninjas, devil worship, giant remote controlled laser cannons, zombies, a gorilla on a chain leash and an island fortress.
Starting off with a lengthy on screen crawl that attempts to explain the highly convoluted plot, but it's best not to try and figure too much out here - just sit back, enjoy & put your brain in neutral. Things kick off with an elderly oriental store owner selling a necklace to a buxom blonde when suddenly the eyes on an idol located in the store start glowing red and a bunch of ninja guys burst in and throw the oriental guy out the front window. Some cops show up and start blasting away while the ninja guys whip out pointed stars on chains and use them to take care of the police.
Next we cut to a school where some guys are holding a classroom of kids hostage with the police presence commanded by Kenneth (The Thing From Another World) Tobey, when a black clad police person on a motorcycle crashes thru the school doors and blasts away the bad guys (but not before uttering a Dirty Harry like smart ass comment). As all this happens in the first 10 minutes, you know some stuff is really going on here.
Turns out the Dirty Harry on the motorcycle is Officer Angel Wolf (Melanie Vince) who's the sister of one of the cops at the store shootout. Rushing to hospital (and wearing a silver body suit unzipped for max cleavage) she arrives just as he's dying and takes one of the pointed stars he managed to grab in the shootout. Her FBI boyfriend Rick Stanton (Paul Coufos) immediately identifies it as belonging to "Lee Chuck" who's some sort demon/devil guy that has to collect departed souls everyday (or something to that effect). Plus he's tied into religious cult leader Dr.SinDo (Angus Scrimm from Phantasm), who conducts gladiator like tournaments on his island fortress.
As tournament entries have to be in groups of three, Angel has to round up a couple of more kick ass type chicks. First up she heads out to the desert and we get a bit of Native American mysticism as she summons "Whitestar" (Raven De La Croix) who shows up wearing a fringed white buckskin bikini (and constantly throws out Mae West like one-liners). For the third member Angel & Raven go to a women's prison (all right! - this movie has everything!). Once there they witness a fight in the prison yard in between Heather (what - no cool name for her?) McClure played by Angela Aames and Whiplash (Angelique Pettyjohn - Star Trek & Blood Island).
Whiplash strips down to her prison approved dominatrix outfit & whip and the girls go at it. Luckily there's also a handy mud puddle close by so they can fall in, after which Heather kicks Whiplash's ass (but not before a couple more of the girls get their tops ripped off). This prison seems to pretty lax on the rules as along with wondering around the yard to watch the catfight, Angel & Whitestar also get to recruit Heather while she's taking a shower and seem to get her out on some sort of work release deal with no problem.
Showing up on the island the girls are thrown into rigorous training - usually in as skimpy clothing as possible (no worry -Whitestar gets to keep her fringe bikini), while been overseen by Koro (Robert Tessier - The Longest Yard) - who's bushy black eyebrows seem to disappear and reappear from scene to scene. The plot at this point takes about seven left turns, with the evil Sin Do (or is it "Lee Chuck" ??) wanting to conquer the world with his giant laser cannon - which I think is powered by the eyes from the idol (or maybe those are just used to increase his evil powers ??).
Along the way we get women gladiator sword fights, kung fu, a guy in a gorilla suit on a chain leash that's used to hunt down escaped prisoners (and gets beaten up by Raven De La Croix), disembodied talking heads, gratuitous nudity (including but not limited to Raven De La Croix), plus Angus Scrimm peeling his face off. There's really no way to describe this - the wooden acting & the intentional funny or not dialogue combined with Wynorski's enthusiasm and his "throw everything against the wall and see what sticks" writing & directing style all add up to one jaw dropping movie experience.
Wynorski has been talking of a DVD release of this for years, but lately there's been a bunch of rumblings on his Facebook page about an upcoming release of this and his 1986 Dawn of the Dead/slasher mash-up Chopping Mall - along with some theatrical showings.
In later interviews Wynorski said that The Lost Empire being his directorial debut and as he was afraid of never getting the chance to direct again, he tried to cram as many of his favorite genre elements in one movie as possible. Clocking in at barely 85 minutes he manages to throw together James Bond, Enter the Dragon, Dirty Harry, Indiana Jones & a Russ Meyer bosom epic while mixing in woman prisoners (and gladiators), kung fu, evil religions cults, ninjas, devil worship, giant remote controlled laser cannons, zombies, a gorilla on a chain leash and an island fortress.
Starting off with a lengthy on screen crawl that attempts to explain the highly convoluted plot, but it's best not to try and figure too much out here - just sit back, enjoy & put your brain in neutral. Things kick off with an elderly oriental store owner selling a necklace to a buxom blonde when suddenly the eyes on an idol located in the store start glowing red and a bunch of ninja guys burst in and throw the oriental guy out the front window. Some cops show up and start blasting away while the ninja guys whip out pointed stars on chains and use them to take care of the police.
Next we cut to a school where some guys are holding a classroom of kids hostage with the police presence commanded by Kenneth (The Thing From Another World) Tobey, when a black clad police person on a motorcycle crashes thru the school doors and blasts away the bad guys (but not before uttering a Dirty Harry like smart ass comment). As all this happens in the first 10 minutes, you know some stuff is really going on here.
Turns out the Dirty Harry on the motorcycle is Officer Angel Wolf (Melanie Vince) who's the sister of one of the cops at the store shootout. Rushing to hospital (and wearing a silver body suit unzipped for max cleavage) she arrives just as he's dying and takes one of the pointed stars he managed to grab in the shootout. Her FBI boyfriend Rick Stanton (Paul Coufos) immediately identifies it as belonging to "Lee Chuck" who's some sort demon/devil guy that has to collect departed souls everyday (or something to that effect). Plus he's tied into religious cult leader Dr.SinDo (Angus Scrimm from Phantasm), who conducts gladiator like tournaments on his island fortress.
As tournament entries have to be in groups of three, Angel has to round up a couple of more kick ass type chicks. First up she heads out to the desert and we get a bit of Native American mysticism as she summons "Whitestar" (Raven De La Croix) who shows up wearing a fringed white buckskin bikini (and constantly throws out Mae West like one-liners). For the third member Angel & Raven go to a women's prison (all right! - this movie has everything!). Once there they witness a fight in the prison yard in between Heather (what - no cool name for her?) McClure played by Angela Aames and Whiplash (Angelique Pettyjohn - Star Trek & Blood Island).
Whiplash strips down to her prison approved dominatrix outfit & whip and the girls go at it. Luckily there's also a handy mud puddle close by so they can fall in, after which Heather kicks Whiplash's ass (but not before a couple more of the girls get their tops ripped off). This prison seems to pretty lax on the rules as along with wondering around the yard to watch the catfight, Angel & Whitestar also get to recruit Heather while she's taking a shower and seem to get her out on some sort of work release deal with no problem.
Showing up on the island the girls are thrown into rigorous training - usually in as skimpy clothing as possible (no worry -Whitestar gets to keep her fringe bikini), while been overseen by Koro (Robert Tessier - The Longest Yard) - who's bushy black eyebrows seem to disappear and reappear from scene to scene. The plot at this point takes about seven left turns, with the evil Sin Do (or is it "Lee Chuck" ??) wanting to conquer the world with his giant laser cannon - which I think is powered by the eyes from the idol (or maybe those are just used to increase his evil powers ??).
Wynorski has been talking of a DVD release of this for years, but lately there's been a bunch of rumblings on his Facebook page about an upcoming release of this and his 1986 Dawn of the Dead/slasher mash-up Chopping Mall - along with some theatrical showings.
Wow, this sure looks like a trip and a half. Too bad I don't smoke pot anymore!
ReplyDeleteI felt like I STILL was smoking pot after watching this.
DeleteHoly crap this sounds awesome. I hope he does put it out. This is very Voodoo Rob friendly territory here.
ReplyDeleteIMO, this has Voodoo Rob written all over it.
DeleteI've never seen it, but the awesome Angela Aames is in it! Passed it in the video store a bunch of times, though. I have seen (many times) the second half of that double bill -- DAWN OF THE MUMMY.
ReplyDeleteAngela Aames was great - sad that she left us way to early. I always remember her from H.O.T.S & Night Court. I've never seen Dawn of the Mummy ! I've got an old VHS I picked up a few years back. Really need to watch it one night.
DeleteI first saw her on CHEERS. She's in the second episode from season one, 'Sam's Women'. She plays Candee with two 'E's.
ReplyDeleteA lot of folks diss on DAWN OF THE MUMMY. I am right fond of it. It might be down to nostalgia after first running across it in 1984 on late night television where, incredibly, they showed it uncut. This was around 1am. The second time I saw it on the same station, it was a 3am showing. Oddly enough, that airing was the best print I've ever seen. The VHS tape I used to own was incredibly dark. I then bought the Anchor Bay UK DVD and it's better, but far from the restoration of their usual work. There's a bootleg of that release out here. I don't have that one, but I know there's a commentary track on there with Frank Agrama, and that was on the UK disc. I posted a review of it a while back if you want to see screen shots from it.
Thanks - I'll check out your review. I'll watch the tape (I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy it), then I'll order a DVD. Looks like there's some reasonably priced Anchor Bays on Amazon UK.
Delete